


Totally Tubular Teba

by ohnoitsher



Series: Teba, the Rito dad [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Gen, M/M, Slight Canon Divergence, Teba is an 80's dad, here have some good dad content, non-descriptive injury, talkative link
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29055369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnoitsher/pseuds/ohnoitsher
Summary: When Link first heard about Teba, he was expecting many things. He expected grumpiness, even aloofness. He did not, however, expect to hear Teba talk in 80's lingo.
Relationships: Harth/Original Character, Link & Teba (Legend of Zelda), Saki/Teba (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Teba, the Rito dad [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129823
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Totally Tubular Teba

“You can find Teba at the Flight Range,” Saki informed Link with a little sadness. “He’s always practicing there nowadays… If you do find him, could you tell him to come back home? It’s almost dinnertime, and Tulin misses him.”

He nodded and ran off in search of the ever-elusive Teba. As he ran down the stairs, he noticed a brown Rito sitting down in one of the huts. He wondered who he was, but he didn’t stop to ask.

Eventually, Link arrived at the Flight Range. On the ledge of the little hut sat a Rito fixing his bow. It must be Teba. Link stood in the hut, waiting for Teba to finish fixing his bow.

“Dude, these air currents are gnarly,” he muttered. He suddenly looked up and saw Link staring at him.

“Yo, what do you want? I’m, like, a little busy. You should probably book back to wherever you came from.”

Link took slight offense to his attitude, but instead of leaving, approached Teba.

“I can help you with Vah Medoh.”

Teba looked at him with skepticism.

“You? A Hylian? As if. You got a name, kid?”

“Link. My name’s Link.”

“Link, huh? The name’s Teba, but I’m guessing you already knew that. Let me guess. The Elder sent you to come here and talk some sense into me, right.”

Link nodded. Teba sighed and muttered under his breath, “Just like that airhead to trust any dufus wandering around town.” Link felt that Teba was talking more to himself, although Link heard every word. He wasn’t liking this Teba guy one bit.

“How did you find me?”

“Your wife, Saki, told me where I could find you.”

“Did she tell you to try to get me back home?”

Link nodded.

“She said it’s almost dinnertime, and Tulin misses you.”

Teba sighed deeply. He set down his bow and turned to face Link.

“Look–not gonna lie, you totally seem like a rad dude, and I’m stoked that you want to help, but let’s get one thing clear: I’m not going anywhere until Vah Medoh falls from the sky. As a Rito warrior, I can’t rest until my people are safe, especially my wife and kid. They mean everything to me.”

“Then let’s get started.”

“Yo, you’re serious? That’s so dope! But it’s as the Elder said: the only way to stop the Divine Beast is to get inside it. There’s no way we can set foot in Medoh.”

“Actually–” Link said as he explained his whole story. Teba cut him off.

“Pssh. Not even. Where’s the beef, dude? That’s mental, even for me. The only people able to enter the Divine Beasts are the five Champions of old, and they all died a hundred years ago. One of them was Master Revali. Man, Master Revali was the most righteous Rito of all. He practiced here twenty-four-seven. He even had a special power called Revali’s Gale. It was said that he could make himself fly higher than any Rito. And if it hadn’t been for Ganon…

“Well, never mind. Let’s focus on bringing down Vah Medoh one step at a time. You probably heard what happened last time with me and Harth. That was grody to the max… I’m just glad he’s okay. Now, if we approach Vah Medoh recklessly, its cannons will blast us to smithereens before we even get close. So, I’m gonna need to test you before I take you with me to see if you’re legit. We Rito warriors use the updraft in this place to hone in our aerial archery skills. You’ll have to maneuver through the air and destroy five of the targets set up in this valley in three minutes. Let’s see what you’re capable of.”

“But I can’t fly.”

“Tough.”

Link fumed, but he quickly realized he could use his parachute. He took off from the ledge and completed his task. When he landed back on the ledge, Teba looked at him with almost reverent awe.

“Yo, that was tubular, dude! It was as if you stopped time! And you don’t even have wings! I’ve gotta tell you, Link… when you first showed up, I thought someone was pulling a prank on me, but after seeing you handle that bow, I can tell you really are bad to the bone. You must have seen some heavy battles.”

Link grinned sheepishly.

“Link… I feel I’ve heard the name somewhere before… Well, if you want to help me bring down that punk, it’s now or never. I’ll get you into position so you can give its cannons all you’ve got.”

Teba brought out a bow. It looked different from the normal swallow bow.

“This is a bow I’ve glammed up. Take it.”

Link took it and examined it. While he did so, Teba continued, “It’s time to face Vah Medoh. Normal arrows won’t put a dent in those cannons. You’ll need to hit them with bomb arrows. These are pretty dope, so don’t expect me to do this again, but here.”

He handed Link twenty bomb arrows.

“Also, it’ll be heinously cold up there. You’ll want to bring some warm clothes, a warm meal, or a warm elixir. So, Link, are you stoked to take down this punk?”

“Actually,” Link said, “I think that first, you should get back home to Saki. She’s really worried about you.”

“I told you, dude, I’m not going anywhere until Medoh is destroyed. So take a chill pill.”

Link thought for a moment for something that might change Teba’s mind.

“What if you died, and your wife and kid would never know? Wouldn’t you want to eat dinner with them one last time before you set off?”

Teba paused, then said gruffly, “Look, we’re not gonna die, okay? At least, _I_ don’t have any plans to die. Don’t be a downer.”

“But what if?”

Teba sighed, but not unkindly.

“Alright, alright, don’t have a cow. We’ll have dinner at my crib before we go. But only a short one.”

“We?”

“Yeah, dude, if you’re so insistent on dinner, you might as well join me. Plus, warriors always feast together before a big battle. Get on.”

He outstretched his wings for Link to climb on. He did so, and they set off back to Rito Village.

* * *

“Dear, I’m home!”

Saki looked up, surprised.

“Teba! You came back home! Thank you, Link! How can I ever repay you?”

“You could start by preparing dinner for us. Link’s joining, by the way.”

“Splendid. I’ll get started right away! Oh, by the way, dear, we’re having a double date at our house with Harth and Nela. Harth’s bringing Molli along, too. Is that alright?”

“Who’s Nela?”

“Harth’s newest boyfriend.”

“Oh. Stellar! I’m stoked!

“I knew you’d like that. In the meantime, why don’t you take Link for a tour of Rito Village while I cook dinner? Also, Tulin’s out playing. Perhaps you’ll catch up to him.”

Teba nodded.

“Cool beans. Let’s go, dude.”

As they started walking, Teba said, “I guess I’ll introduce you to the people here. You already know the Elder, Kaneli. He’s a goober, but we all love him.”

Link remembered the brown Rito and asked Teba about him.

“Oh, him? That’s Harth, the guy I was telling you about. Ever since the accident, he sits in his hut and fixes bows.”

They approached him. He was still sitting in the center of his hut, and a small, pink Rito hummed a sweet song.

“Hey, dweeb! That’s a killer bow! Where’s your new boy toy?”

Harth looked up, incredibly annoyed.

“What do you want now, Teba? Did you break your bow again? Or are you just here to annoy me?”

“Nah, I’m just showing Link around my crib.”

“Oh, hello, Link! I’m Harth, and this is my daughter, Molli.”

“Fun fact: he claims he’s a goth, but he’s just a poser,” Teba joked.

Harth glared at him and said, “That was _one_ time, and I was a teenager. Cut me some slack, would you?”

“No can do, my dude. Anyway, catch you later at dinner.”

“See ya!”

Harth and Molli waved goodbye, and Teba continued his tour.

“That’s the clothing store, and there’s the regular store, and that’s the inn, and that’s one of Kass’ kids, and there’s another, and another, oh, and another, and one more.”

They reached the bottom of Rito Village. There was a small, white bird splashing around in the water.

“Tulin? What are you doing here at this hour? You’re gonna catch a cold out here.”

Tulin looked up in shock.

“Daddy! You’re home!”

He scrambled out of the water unceremoniously to hug Teba.

“Woah there, kiddo! Did you catch any fish?”

Tulin nodded and showed him a huge hearty salmon.

“Fantabulous! That’s a fly fish! Why don’t we bring it home to Mommy?”

Tulin nodded excitedly and ran home, holding Teba’s wing the whole way. Link smiled slightly. Maybe he had misjudged Teba at a first impression.

* * *

Link sat around the cooking pot with Teba, Harth, and their respective families, enjoying his meal.

“Wow, Saki! This is a really good meal!”

Saki blushed.

“Thank you, Link. I try my best.”

“Saki’s awesome! She’s one bodacious babe,” Teba said through mouthfuls.

“Dear!” Saki said, sounding scandalized. She playful slapped his arm. Harth snorted.

“If you don’t mind me asking, Saki, how long have you and Teba been together?” Nela asked.

Saki smiled fondly.

“We’ve been together for 16 years.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“Well, we were both around our early twenties when we met. I was a nurse, and he and Harth were warriors. After he tried to take down the frost talus in the Hebra Mountains, he came to me with frostbite. I healed him, and I think that’s the moment he fell in love with me. He kept getting into accidents, and I thought that he was just reckless, but I’m fairly sure it was all just so he could see me more. But believe me, if you would have told me that _Teba_ was going to be the love of my life, I would have laughed it off. He was _such_ a terrible flirt.”

“Oh, yeah,” Harth chimed in. “I remember one time, I just happened to walk past the hospital, and I heard him say, ‘You look phat.’ Next thing I know, Saki slaps him on the face.”

Saki laughed at the memory. Link noticed Teba subtly rubbed the side of his face.

“Oh, he also said, ‘Yo, you’re doing some bad work.’ How was _I_ supposed to know he meant good?”

“No! Seriously?”

“Seriously! Another time, he said that I had nice wings–”

"That's not so bad," Nela said.

"–that I could use to shoot arrows with."

Nela snickered. Teba cleared his throat pointedly.

“Are you two done ragging on me?”

“Nope,” quipped Harth. Teba sighed. Tulin and Molli yawned at the same time.

“Oh!” Saki exclaimed. “Look at the time. It’s past your bedtime, Tulin.”

“But I’m not tired,” Tulin said tiredly.

“Come on, kid. It’s time to catch some zzz's,” chided Teba.

“… Alright.”

“Atta boy. Book on over to bed. I’ll tuck you in.”

Tulin perked up at Teba’s promise and scurried off to his hammock.

“You too, Molli,” added Harth. “In fact, we _all_ should go back home. It’s getting late.”

Molli pouted, but she nodded.

“We’ll see you around! Thank you again for dinner! You really are a wonderful cook, Saki!” said Nela.

“Thank you so much! We’ll see you around!”

Harth, Nela, and Molli left the remaining three sitting around the cooking pot.

“Link,” Teba said, “why don’t you go to the Flight Range? Get some more practice. I’ll meet you there in a flash.”

Link nodded and jumped off Revali’s landing. He probably needed the practice, anyway.

* * *

Once Saki was sure everyone was out of earshot, she turned to Teba.

“So? What now? I know you aren’t just going to give up on taking down Vah Medoh. That’s not your nature.”

Teba held her wings as he said, “Link and I are going tonight. We’ll be back in the morning.”

“At night? You _know_ you can’t see as well at night!”

“Saki, I can’t let this punk survive another night. What if it attacks the night I let my guard down? It’s gotta be tonight.”

Saki looked as if she was going to argue but decided against it. She hung her head sadly.

“I’m doing this for you and Tulin. Everything I do is for you and Tulin. You know that, right?”

“I know… I just can’t help thinking the worst. You were lucky last time. What if you’re not _this_ time?”

“It’s gonna be okay,” Teba tried to comfort her. “Plus, you can always heal me if I get totally injured.”

For some unknown reason, Saki was obviously not very comforted. She sighed and looked up at him.

“You know, you’re still not very good with words.”

“Sorry.”

Saki gave him a small smile. They leaned their heads together and shared a tender moment of silence together; the calm before the storm.

“Promise you’ll come back safe?”

“… I promise I’ll come back.”

Saki was about to say something more, but Tulin’s high-pitched voice interrupted them.

“Daddy! Where are you? I’m in bed!”

Teba and Saki laughed softly at Tulin’s antics. There were no words needed anymore. What needed to be said was said. He let go of her wings and headed off to tuck in Tulin.

“Hey, Saki?”

“What is it?”

“You’ll always be my bodacious babe.”

He left the small hut. Despite the size and the compactness of the hut, Saki felt it couldn’t be bigger. And lonelier.

* * *

Teba stood in the doorway of his house. Tulin sat in his little hammock, still wide-awake.

“What are you still doing up? It’s way past your bedtime, kiddo.”

Tulin answered, “I was waiting for you, Daddy!”

“Well, I’m here now. Get some shut-eye.”

He walked over and pulled the covers over Tulin’s head.

“Daddy! No! Not like that!” Tulin shrieked.

Teba laughed and did it properly. As he did, Tulin piped up, “Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you really going to fight Vah Medoh again?”

Teba paused in his tracks.

“… You heard all that back there?”

Tulin nodded sagely.

“Well…” Teba was unsure of what to say. “I am. But I’ll be back soon.”

Tulin looked at him with those big, sad, puppy-dog eyes. “You _are_ coming back, right?”

“Of course I am, Tulin. I promise."

“Okay, Daddy! I love you.”

“Love you, too, kiddo.”

Tulin nestled in his blankets and fell fast asleep. Teba watched him for a little longer before flying off to the Flight Range. After all, he had a job to do.

* * *

Teba and Link made their way to Vah Medoh. They were halfway there when a thought occurred to Teba.

“Yo, Link, can I ask you something? Like, why are you doing this? Why risk your life to bring down this Divine Beast?”

Teba didn’t hear Link say anything for a while. He figured Link just didn’t hear him, but before he could ask him again, Link answered, “To save Zelda.”

Teba frowned.

“Zelda? But that’s the name of the princess Master Revali served a hundred years ago at Hyrule Castle… whatever, man. As long as you’re helping me, I don’t care what your motivations are.”

By now, they could see Vah Medoh in the distance.

“Alright. It’s showtime. Man, the air’s gnarly up here. Even _I_ feel like I’m gonna freeze!”

They got closer to the Divine Beast.

“There it is. Darn, it has its barrier up again. Gag me with a spoon…”

Link didn’t say anything about the matter.

“What’s wrong, Link? Don’t tell me you’re wigging out on me.”

“No, I’m not. Let’s just go over the plan one more time,” Link said.

“Right on. Here’s the four-one-one. You see those bitchin’ cannons? I’ll draw their fire. Meanwhile, you’ll use your bomb arrows to destroy them. It’ll be… _the_ _bomb_.”

Teba laughed a little at his own pun. Realizing Link wasn’t laughing, he cleared his throat and continued the plan.

“Anyway, if you need to regroup, just hover over the updrafts. And don’t forget your cold protection. Are you psyched?”

“I’m ready.”

“Here we go! Cowabunga!”

Link jumped off Teba’s back. Teba zoomed over to the first cannon, yelling, “Hey, airhead! Over here!”

The cannons turned toward him and shot their lasers. He deftly avoided them while Link destroyed the first one.

“Radical, dude!”

Another cannon fired up and shot at Teba. He swerved that one, too.

“Eat my shorts, Vah Medoh!”

The next cannon turned to shoot Teba, but luckily, Link destroyed it before it could make its move.

“Fantabulous! Only two more left!”

The two leftover cannons both aimed at him and shot simultaneously. Unfortunately for Teba, he only saw one. He dodged the first one with ease, but the second blast hit him between the upper thigh and lower torso. Teba grimaced in pain, but he carried on.

Link shot down the last cannons quickly and easily. The barrier surrounding Vah Medoh crackled into static and disappeared.

“That was totally tubular, my dude! This punk is history.”

Teba’s flight faltered. His leg was killing him. There wasn’t much more time left before he lost complete control of his flight.

“Bad news, Link. It looks like I got a grody injury up there. I think I need to get back to the Flight Range. I just hope I can make it back… You head down to Medoh. Don’t freak out on me! Good luck!”

Teba gave Link his best version of a Hylian thumbs up and flew off. He made his way to the Flight Range, but his leg hurt more every second he spent in the air. He wasn’t gonna make it there in time. His best option was to get home.

The familiar pillar was in his sights. If only he could make it there in time.

Revali’s Landing was the closest thing he could land on without breaking any houses. He crash-landed on the platform, rolling around until he hit something hard. He groaned at the impact. A low murmur rose throughout Rito Village. He wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but he heard someone running toward him and holding him. When he opened his eyes, his dazed gaze met Saki’s concerned one.

“Hey there.”

Saki gave him a small smile.

“Hey there, yourself.”

“I kept my promise.”

“Yes, you did. You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Yeah… but I’m _your_ idiot.”

Saki smirked as she helped him up. She stood by his side and steadied him as he hobbled back home.

* * *

A little while later, Link was transported back to Rito Village. He talked to Kaneli, received the Great Eagle Bow, and got all his priorities straightened out. As he was about to leave, Saki called out, “Link!”

Link walked toward her. Next to Saki sat Teba, his whole torso and leg wrapped in bandages. He straightened up as best as he could when he saw Link.

“Link! Yo, what’s up, dude? I didn’t expect you to drop by my crib.”

“Are you alright? I didn’t know your injury was _this_ serious!”

“Chill out, it’s just a scratch.”

Saki rolled her eyes as she said gratefully, “Link, I can’t thank you enough, for not only bringing Teba back home but helping him take down Divine Beast Vah Medoh. Now, we can all live in peace knowing that Medoh is on our side once again.”

Link nodded.

“So,” Teba asked, “what rad stuff are you gonna do next now that Vah Medoh is ours?”

Link relayed his mission to the two of them.

“Sounds heavy, dude. But, if this battle’s shown me anything about you, I bet you’ll be totally victorious.”

Link smiled.

“I’ll catch you around. Maybe we could practice at the Flight Range once you feel better.”

“Big time! I’m super psyched. Catch you later.”

Link mock-saluted him and leaped off Revali’s Landing, onto his next adventure. Who knows who he’ll meet along the way? He just really hoped that whoever it was didn’t speak in eighties slang.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if I made a typo or a grammatical error!


End file.
